That’s an old saying among old-school thieves. It refers to a bungled crime: one in which the perpetrator mistakenly heists the costume jewelry instead of the real baubles; or thinks he got the family silver, but came away with the stainless; maybe a caper where he got the goods, but dropped the best of ’em while making his escape. We’ll let you be the judge of this one.
Cops in Indiana, Pa., say an enterprising thief somehow maneuvered a huge 65-inch flatscreen TV out of a lady’s apartment, and conveniently stole a car outside to whisk it away in. The only trouble was that the stolen car was on the smallish side — a compact sedan — and the overachieving thief couldn’t fit that monster TV into it. After trying nine ways from Sunday to get about a third of it into the trunk, he finally drove away with his prize precariously balanced and stickin’ out the back — kinda like trying to stuff a cricket bat into the hip pocket of his jeans.
He didn’t get far, though, before he sorta goosed the gas pedal a bit too briskly, and that 65-inch beauty squirted out the back and onto the road. Yeah, our dummy-of-the-day might have tried again, but we think he got squeamish as a crowd quickly gathered. He took off with the trunk lid flappin’.
As of this writing, the car — valued at less than the TV — is still missing. And the thief can’t even watch ESPN on it …
By Commander Gilmore
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