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Hey, Moose Woo The Same Way We Do!

Hey, Moose Woo The Same Way We Do!

Folks who live in moose country know bull moose like to tip a few. That is, they purposely stomp willow shoots into a mash in standing water, let it ferment, then return to snort up their willow-hooch. And the bigger they are, the more they drink until they get knee-knockin’ drunk.

It was discovered that during mating season, prime female moose uttered a particular series of groans to “warn away” smaller, less muscularly developed males. These sounds are very different from those they made to signal big, impressive males indicating, “Hey, big boy! Wanna dance?” To the geeks and nerds of the moose world, the message was more like, “What, would I go out with you? Don’t even think about it! You’re not even varsity! Get outta here!”

Now, after four years of field studies in Alaska’s Denali National Park, it’s been discovered that the “cheerleader-type” female moose use certain vocalizations to actually manipulate the big varsity males into fighting each other. Then, they go off to mate with the winners — that is, if the winners are still in any shape to dance.

“It’s indirect control,” explained ISU biologist Terry Bowyer.

Hooda thunkitt? Females like to shut down geeks, and then maneuver the booze-swilling jocks into punchin’ it out with each other? Unbelievable! Next, some academic will theorize that humans might do the same thing!

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